Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Eve

I've been coping so well during the big Two Week Wait. Last week I was easily able to push it out of my head because it was too far in the future for me to think too much about, and I had to prepare for the renaissance faire. Then this weekend (plus Friday) I was running non-stop from gig to gig at the faire, in the 95+ degree weather, sweating through my corset. I got home Sunday night and took a shower (post-faire showers are the BEST) and got all the dirt and sweat off of me, and got into bed and realized test day was three days away and had a good cry. Of course, most of the cry was from being exhausted, but it was the beginning of the nervousness that I knew would pervade the rest of the Wait.

Yesterday and today were better; I was busy at work and was able to keep my mind off of it for the most part. And now tonight, I don't want to go to bed.

Tomorrow morning the lab opens at 7:30 and I'll be there waiting at the door. (I don't have to go all the way to the fertility clinic, thank goodness, I can just do the test in town.) Then they have to fax my clinic the results and then my clinic will call me at some point during the afternoon, after 1:30, with the results. (Yay for at least six hours of pins and needles!)

I have a good feeling about this, but I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up. Everybody else says they're sure it'll be positive, because what else are you supposed to say to an IVF patient who's on the verge of finding out whether it worked. And I know that no matter how well I keep my feelings in check before the call, if the answer is no I'll have the same reaction.

Here's to a quick Wednesday, whatever the outcome. I'm ready for this chapter to be over.

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